Parkr's Place

So you’re starting to walk now, it’s just unreal how much you’re learning and taking everything in around you. It doesn’t seem that long ago when I was attempting to sleep on a very uncomfortable couch in the hospital wondering how the heck to be a dad to the little boy sleeping in this little cart next to your mom while she was recovering from a long and tiring labor. I know I’m going to blink and you’re going to be going to your first day of school. You’ll grow up strong and healthy and sooner or later you’ll move out and be on your own. I probably won’t be as cool to you then as I am now, no matter how old I get I will miss this time with you, I know I will.

I work for a very large company in the telecommunication industry and have been for about 7 years now. I manage a good group of guys who can really be difficult at times, and with customers never being happy I sometimes take it home with me when I shouldn’t. One day last week I was just so tired (I’d worked about 10 hours that day) and when I walked in from work I just wanted to get my homework done and go to bed. You are usually in the main living room waiting for me, ready to greet me with this huge smile. When I came home you were ready to play and I wasn’t. I said “hi” to you but I didn’t pick you up. I was completely oblivious to the look you gave me, like you had done something wrong. Your Mom brought you down stairs where I was reading to give me a hug and kiss goodnight and you didn’t put your arms out to get me like you normally do. I didn’t think too much of it until you were asleep and I realized I didn’t really see you smile all day except for when I got home.

..and it broke my heart.

No matter what I did I couldn’t go back to that time when daddy didn’t pick you up and let you know that it wasn’t your fault. The thought of hurting you like that is a very difficult thing for me to accept.

I’m so sorry.

Let’s go to the park on my next day off. Dada will turn off his blackberry and we’ll lose track of time sliding, swinging, and maybe dada will cheat and get us some ice cream at Farr’s Ice Cream shop. Trust me, you’ll like it. O man, you haven’t even had dada’s favorite yet…Cheesecake!
So many things to do…thanks for choosing to do them with us.